A buddy bench is a special bench placed in playgrounds or schoolyards designed to help children who are feeling lonely or isolated. If a child is sitting on the buddy bench, it signals to others that they may need a friend to play with. The idea is to encourage social inclusion, kindness, and empathy, allowing children to notice when their peers need support and inviting them to join in play or conversation. It’s a simple yet effective way to promote friendship and ensure no child feels left out. Spencerport Rotary donated benches to the Bernabi and Taylor Elementary Schools. 

The Goals of the Friendship Bench

A friendship bench is all about promoting inclusion and friendship. Playgrounds can be fun but can also be pretty daunting, especially if you're unsure who to play with. Buddy benches give kids a place to go when feeling left out and let others know they're open to making new friends.

But there's more to it than just making new buddies. These benches also help combat loneliness and boost social skills among kids. Reaching out can be scary at any age. But buddy benches teach kids a valuable lesson: asking for company is OK. They provide a safe and non-intimidating way for children to express their need for interaction, which is a crucial life skill.

Buddy benches play a significant role in anti-bullying initiatives. Bullying often stems from exclusion and a lack of empathy. By encouraging kids to reach out to those sitting on the bench, buddy benches foster a culture of kindness and understanding. They help children recognize when someone else feels down or left out and encourage them to act in a supportive and friendly manner.

How to Start a Friendship Bench at Your School

Once your school has approved a friendship bench, there are a few essential considerations. Bench placement is crucial. You need a location that's visible and accessible to all kids — where a child sitting on it can be quickly seen by others. The idea is to make it easy for kids to approach each other without anyone feeling awkward.

Installing a friendship bench is great, but it's not a magic solution. Schools need to implement a program that fosters the bench's success. They often do this by kicking things off with an assembly or classroom sessions to explain the buddy bench's purpose. Kids must understand that this bench isn't just another place to sit. It's a spot for someone looking for a friend or needing a break from a rough day.

Guidelines for students will help ensure a friendship bench succeeds. Kids need to understand buddy bench etiquette: If you see someone sitting there, that's your cue to walk over and invite them to play or talk. If you're the one sitting, it means you're open to someone coming over to you. But there's no pressure. If a child doesn't feel ready to join in immediately, that's OK, too. This is about choices and feeling comfortable.

Schools also need to lead by example. Staff members can watch the bench without making it feel like a big deal. Subtle supervision ensures the bench is used correctly and children interact kindly and safely.

The real success of buddy benches is in how the school community embraces them. Regular reminders, stories of positive experiences and even buddy bench buddies — older students who model good bench behavior — can keep the spirit alive.